User Tools

Site Tools

s1e3_transcript

Differences

This shows you the differences between two versions of the page.

Link to this comparison view

Next revision		Previous revision
s1e3_transcript [2023/06/27 18:42] – created - external edit 127.0.0.1s1e3_transcript [2026/08/13 22:05] (current) – external edit 127.0.0.1
Line 294: Line 294:
 ^ 00:14:12 | MICHAEL: | And apparently, you exposed your breasts. | ^ 00:14:12 | MICHAEL: | And apparently, you exposed your breasts. |
 ^ 00:14:14 | MIDGE: | I do not remember that. | ^ 00:14:14 | MIDGE: | I do not remember that. |
-^ 00:14:15 | SUSIE: | I do, and I got to tell you, Mike, when she whipped those things out, I ducked. I'm telling you, boy, they were glowing. It was like a Mack truck was coming at me. It killed. |+^ 00:14:15 | SUSIE: | I do, and I gotta tell you, Mike, when she whipped those things out, I ducked. I'm telling you, boy, they were glowing. It was like a Mack truck was coming at me. It killed. |
 ^ 00:14:23 | MICHAEL: | We will fight it all. | ^ 00:14:23 | MICHAEL: | We will fight it all. |
 ^ 00:14:24 | MIDGE: | Good. I would like to be found innocent. | ^ 00:14:24 | MIDGE: | Good. I would like to be found innocent. |
Line 405: Line 405:
 ^ 00:20:51 | MICHAEL: | Then you're staying here. | ^ 00:20:51 | MICHAEL: | Then you're staying here. |
 ^ 00:20:53 | MIDGE: | I can't stay here, I have to pick up my son. | ^ 00:20:53 | MIDGE: | I can't stay here, I have to pick up my son. |
-^ 00:20:55 | MICHAEL: | Then you got to pay $200 and apologize to the judge. |+^ 00:20:55 | MICHAEL: | Then you gotta pay $200 and apologize to the judge. |
 ^ 00:20:57 | MIDGE: | Not until he apologizes to me. | ^ 00:20:57 | MIDGE: | Not until he apologizes to me. |
 ^ 00:20:59 | MICHAEL: | Then you're staying here. | ^ 00:20:59 | MICHAEL: | Then you're staying here. |
Line 622: Line 622:
 ^ 00:34:32 | LINDSEY: | Anyone got Sen-Sen? | ^ 00:34:32 | LINDSEY: | Anyone got Sen-Sen? |
 ^ 00:34:38 | MIDGE: | Hi, everybody. Are you ready for some more music? Nice. So, first time at a jazz club, raise your hand. Just me? Wow. Only virgin. Losing my virginity to a bunch of jazz musicians, every Jewish mother's worst nightmare. Anyway, I was outside talking to the guys, and Lindsey here whips out his… wallet. What did you think I was gonna say? His penis? No. That was already out. So, he pulled out a picture of his really cute baby, very adorable, and then somebody asked me if I had kids, and I said yes, and they asked to see a picture, and I realized… I don't have one. I've got two kids. No picture. I've got everything else in the world in my purse. I've got a... look, a-a Diners Club card, a compact; one, two, three lipsticks… three. Two lips, three lipsticks. Nail polish, cigarettes, a corn pad, and a Kotex sanitary belt. It comes in white now, ladies, so rush right out. I mean, if my kids got kidnapped and I had to describe them, I'd have to say, "They look like kids. I-I don't know. The whosit's got a head. The other one's got a... head." Anyone know this fucker? Dr. Spock. I had never read this, not until my son started doing this really weird thing where I wake up and he's staring at me like he's planning things. And-and I'm thinking, "Well, right now he's small. I can take him, but in a few years..." So, I turned to the expert. And one of the things he says is, "Trust yourself." You know more than you think you do." Are you fucking kidding me? That's his sage advice? "You got this"? Trust me, I don't got this. And now, now I'm thinking, "A," I could have used the money I spent on this stupid book on a fourth lipstick, and "B," what if I wasn't supposed to be a mother? What if I picked the wrong profession? If you're afraid of blood, you don't become a surgeon. If you don't like to fly, you don't join Pan Am. I-I can't change my mind and donate my kids to the library, like I'm gonna do with this book. Oh, my God, I'm awful. I mean, women are supposed to be mothers. It's supposed to be natural. It comes with the tits, right? The equipment is pre-installed. I mean, are there exceptions? What if some of us are just supposed to travel a lot? Or run 24-hour diners out in rural areas wearing coveralls? What if some of us are supposed to just talk to adults our entire life? Oh, I never thought about any of this before tonight. Ethan's gonna know. He's gonna look at my face when I get home and figure out he has to accelerate the plan. Fuck. I thought this was supposed to be a fun evening, filled with music and smoking pot with a bunch of strange men in an alley, and instead I'm filled with dread and doubts and I am starving. Why am I starving? Do they serve food here? Is Lenny Bruce boring at home? Like, at home is he all, (deadpan): "Have you seen my red socks?" And then he comes on stage and he's all, (imitating George Macready): "I'm gonna put a little airplane glue on a rag and fuck, shit, cock, prick." And are those pretzels? Mmm. Delicious. What? | ^ 00:34:38 | MIDGE: | Hi, everybody. Are you ready for some more music? Nice. So, first time at a jazz club, raise your hand. Just me? Wow. Only virgin. Losing my virginity to a bunch of jazz musicians, every Jewish mother's worst nightmare. Anyway, I was outside talking to the guys, and Lindsey here whips out his… wallet. What did you think I was gonna say? His penis? No. That was already out. So, he pulled out a picture of his really cute baby, very adorable, and then somebody asked me if I had kids, and I said yes, and they asked to see a picture, and I realized… I don't have one. I've got two kids. No picture. I've got everything else in the world in my purse. I've got a... look, a-a Diners Club card, a compact; one, two, three lipsticks… three. Two lips, three lipsticks. Nail polish, cigarettes, a corn pad, and a Kotex sanitary belt. It comes in white now, ladies, so rush right out. I mean, if my kids got kidnapped and I had to describe them, I'd have to say, "They look like kids. I-I don't know. The whosit's got a head. The other one's got a... head." Anyone know this fucker? Dr. Spock. I had never read this, not until my son started doing this really weird thing where I wake up and he's staring at me like he's planning things. And-and I'm thinking, "Well, right now he's small. I can take him, but in a few years..." So, I turned to the expert. And one of the things he says is, "Trust yourself." You know more than you think you do." Are you fucking kidding me? That's his sage advice? "You got this"? Trust me, I don't got this. And now, now I'm thinking, "A," I could have used the money I spent on this stupid book on a fourth lipstick, and "B," what if I wasn't supposed to be a mother? What if I picked the wrong profession? If you're afraid of blood, you don't become a surgeon. If you don't like to fly, you don't join Pan Am. I-I can't change my mind and donate my kids to the library, like I'm gonna do with this book. Oh, my God, I'm awful. I mean, women are supposed to be mothers. It's supposed to be natural. It comes with the tits, right? The equipment is pre-installed. I mean, are there exceptions? What if some of us are just supposed to travel a lot? Or run 24-hour diners out in rural areas wearing coveralls? What if some of us are supposed to just talk to adults our entire life? Oh, I never thought about any of this before tonight. Ethan's gonna know. He's gonna look at my face when I get home and figure out he has to accelerate the plan. Fuck. I thought this was supposed to be a fun evening, filled with music and smoking pot with a bunch of strange men in an alley, and instead I'm filled with dread and doubts and I am starving. Why am I starving? Do they serve food here? Is Lenny Bruce boring at home? Like, at home is he all, (deadpan): "Have you seen my red socks?" And then he comes on stage and he's all, (imitating George Macready): "I'm gonna put a little airplane glue on a rag and fuck, shit, cock, prick." And are those pretzels? Mmm. Delicious. What? |
-^ 00:37:55 | LENNY: | You got to introduce the band. |+^ 00:37:55 | LENNY: | You gotta introduce the band. |
 ^ 00:37:56 | MIDGE: | Oh, shit. Lindsey Trent and the Hot Three. | ^ 00:37:56 | MIDGE: | Oh, shit. Lindsey Trent and the Hot Three. |
 ^ 00:38:27 | BEN: | Excuse me, ma'am. | ^ 00:38:27 | BEN: | Excuse me, ma'am. |
s1e3_transcript.1687891339.txt.gz · Last modified: 2026/08/13 22:04 (external edit)