Noah Weissman

Midge’s brother. Analyst for the FBI.

S1E6 - Noah and Astrid come over for dinner to celebrate Abe’s job offer from Bell Labs. The whole family goes out to Ruby Foo’s, where they unexpectedly run into Penny and Joel, and have to leave. Afterwards, Noah and Midge share a smoke on the fire escape outside Midge’s room. They discuss the disappointment of Joel leaving and Astrid’s anxieties about Noah leaving.

S2E5 - Noah and Astrid give Midge a ride back to the Catskills so that she can make it to her gig at the Concord in time. The car smells awful the whole way, because of a paste that Astrid has been using.

S2E6 - At breakfast, the morning after Polynesian night, Noah quarrels with Joel.

S2E6 - Noah and Abe are playing air hockey when Abe gets a call from Bell Labs telling him that his project’s been approved. Abe gets Noah to agree to come into the city with him to visit the lab and celebrate after.

S2E6 - Abe takes Noah into Bell Labs to show off his work, but he soon learns from Charles that Noah actually works for the government on a secret project, and has a higher security clearance than he does.

S2E6 - When they get home, Noah asks about the celebration dinner they had planned, but Abe says he is no longer hungry.

S2E6 - As they get back to Steiner, Noah tries to explain, but Abe barges off.

S2E6 - In service, Rose manages to squeeze out of Astrid that Noah works for the CIA. As she informs Abe of this, Noah cheerily plays football just outside the window with some fellow Steinerites.

S2E6 - Noah and Astrid join the whole Maisel-Weissman clan at the final soiree of the 1959 season. Astrid is freaking out because she worries that she gave too much away about Noah’s job, and Noah picks up on the tension between Abe and Midge.

S2E7 - Noah and Astrid join the whole Maisel-Weissman clan to break their fast on Yom Kippur. The family makes fun of Astrid for getting too into the service, but Noah defends her. Later, when Midge reveals her secret and the evening takes a turn for the chaotic, Noah resumes his argument with Abe about being in the CIA, and Astrid reveals that she is pregnant.

S2E9 - Noah grabs a drink with Abe and informs him that his Bell Labs project has been canceled.

S3E3 - Noah, Astrid, Joel, Moishe and Shirley visit the Weissman residence for family dinner before the tour and the move-out. Noah has grown a disturbingly bushy beard because of a premonition that Astrid had. Midge shares Ethan and Esther's babysitting schedule for the tour with the assembled Maisel-Weissman clan, but this devolves into yet another argument about where Abe and Rose are going to live. Noah and Astrid offer to take them in, but the others argue that their place is too small.

S3E7 - Astrid hosts Chaim's bris at Moishe and Shirley's place. Krinsky initiates the proceedings and explains Noah's absence, then passes it off to the mohel, David Rosenbaum.

S4E7 - Astrid and Noah attend Alfie’s showcase with Abe, Rose and Midge. Alfie hypnotizes Rose into reenacting Midge’s Wolford act, causing fights between Astrid and Noah, Abe and Rose, and Midge and Rose.

S5E1 - Astrid, Noah, and Chaim attend family thanksgiving at Moishe and Shirley’s house in Queens. Astrid and Noah continually delighted with Chaim, in often disruptive ways.

S5E2 - At Midge's apartment, Rose calls Noah at his job, and after some small talk about Chaim, she asks him if he can authorize a raid on the Matchmaker Mafia. Noah is alarmed both by Rose's subject, and the fact that she is jeopardizing his job by discussing it on a phone call to a CIA office. Abe arrives, and briefly greets Noah before hanging up the phone.

S5E7 - Noah and Astrid visit the Weissmans for breakfast, with Chaim in tow. They mention that they are trying for another child, and once again struggling to conceive. Abe is freaking out about Ethan’s supposed idiocy, leading Astrid to freak out that she’ll ruin her own daughter, and Noah to corroborate the Weissman first-born male genius theory in the face of Midge and Joel’s skepticism.

ROSE: There are a thousand restaurants in the city - what are the odds?
ABE: One in sixteen thousand, four hundred fifty…
NOAH: Twelve thousand, three hundred…
ABE: I'm taking into account weather effects, that some restaurants are closed on Mondays…
NOAH: Yeah, yeah, but I'm calculating differentials in geography, quality…
MIDGE: We get it, guys, the odds are low.
– S1E6

NOAH: I still can't believe you and Joel split.
MIDGE: Wasn't my plan, believe me.
NOAH: It's so disappointing. I really liked the guy. God, and that girl he was with. When I saw that, I thought, “I should hit him.” And I would've. But then I remembered once we were joking around, and I sort of fake-punched his arm… Broke my pinkie.
MIDGE: What?
NOAH: He didn't look that big, but his arm was like a brick wall.
MIDGE: Yeah, he had strong arms.
NOAH: It was humiliating. The next day at work I had to make up a story about being mugged in the park.
MIDGE: You never told me any of this.
NOAH: Well… it wasn't my most… manly anecdote. I sure hate that he hurt you, boy.
MIDGE: Thanks.
NOAH: Make sure the next guy you get involved with has very weak upper body strength.
MIDGE: Of course.
NOAH: I'd like to defend your honor.
MIDGE: I'd appreciate that.
NOAH: But I have to be able to hold a pen the next day.
– S1E6

NOAH: You know… I never did get his thing for comedy. One time we came to see him, he didn't seem that funny. You're the funny one. You've always been the funny one.
– S1E6

NOAH: Sorry, Pop. A secret's a secret.
– S2E6

NOAH: Astrid had a premonition, a dream. It was about my face. There were gnomes, I don't know. Bottom line, shaving is bad luck.
ASTRID: I'm just being cautious. You can't be too cautious.
NOAH: I'm gonna need a straw.
– S3E3

ABE What explains Ethan's happiness?
NOAH: Maybe he's a late bloomer. Maybe he'll get miserable later.
ABE: Six is the age.
NOAH: But Pop, I thought there were a few Weissman first-born males that didn't kick in until seven. Remember that, uh, really distant cousin who helped pave the way for the X-ray machine?
ABE: Well, yes, but there were extenuating circumstances. You had the Franco-Prussian War going on.
– S5E7

6. Mrs. X at the Gaslight

5. Midnight at the Concord
6. Let's Face the Music and Dance
7. Look, She Made a Hat
9. Vote for Kennedy, Vote for Kennedy

3. Panty Pose

7. Ethan...Esther...Chaim

1. Go Forward
2. It's a Man, Man, Man, Man World
7. A House Full of Extremely Lame Horses

• List of Characters