 |
|
| Episode Number | 5.6 |
|---|---|
| Written By | Daniel Palladino |
| Directed By | Daniel Palladino |
| Premiered | May 4, 2023 |
| Runtime | 52 minutes |
| Previous Episode | The Pirate Queen |
| Next Episode | A House Full of Extremely Lame Horses |
The Testi-Roastial
The Testi-Roastial is the sixth episode of the fifth and final season of The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel.
Table of Contents
Official Description
Susie is honored at the Friars Club.
Plot Synopsis
NOTE: The episode jumps backwards and forwards in time a lot. For the sake of clarity, this synopsis will describe the events of the Testi-Roastial itself in chronological order (rather than the order that they appeared in the episode), while the sub-flashbacks told as stories at the Testi-Roastial will be embedded in the order that they appear in the episode (rather than in chronological order).
In 1985, an embittered Midge does a set fresh off her breakup with Susie.
On Saturday, June 2, 1990, The New York Friars Club hosts a “Testi-Roastial” (half testimonial dinner, half roast) in honor of Susie Myerson. Ahead of the event, Susie’s assistant Heather sternly inspects the cleanliness of the mantelpiece, the carpet and the cutlery, and finds it strongly to her dissatisfaction. Outside of the venue, reporter Len Blixton performs his vocal warmups as his crew sets up. In the kitchen, as the staff works on preparing the food for the event, the first and second assistant cooks excitedly speculate with the Head Chef about who the event will be for, and are rather disappointed when they look at the flier and discover that the event is for some woman they’ve never heard of.
That evening, Len Blixton reports on the goings-on as the many famous guests pour in, including Stewart Jones, Aaron Lebowitz, Ray Ortiz, Carmine Streeto, Mike Carr, and Benny (who wasn’t invited, but came anyway). Inside the building, two doubtful guys take bets on whether Susie will even show up, and mention the event’s policy that nobody is allowed to mention Midge. Susie does eventually show up (an hour late), and Heather rushes out to greet her. As Heather and Susie head in, Susie’s driver and bodyguard, Dennis, blocks Len from getting a photo of Susie, ruining his report.
Susie takes her place at the dais alongside Mike, Carmine, Stewart, Aaron, Ray, the older of the two doubtful guys, and one other man. Benny and the younger doubtful guy sit in the audience. Stewart steps up to the podium and kicks off the event. As he gives his opening spiel, Susie quietly asks Heather to bring her some food. Heather goes to the kitchen, where the staff are in the process of wrapping things up post-dinner, and she orders them to make fresh food especially for Susie. They initially protest, but eventually they acquiesce, and Heather brings Susie her food. As she eats, Stewart recounts the tale of her legendary “triple crown,” in which she got greenlights for three big projects all in a single day at the golf course in 1970.
The day began when Susie was golfing with Tommy and Sol and attempted to sell them on The French Connection. Sol was extremely skeptical, and Tommy was outright hostile towards the idea. However, Susie managed to get Sol on his own for a moment, and she told him something (nobody knows what) which made him change his tune and instantly greenlight the film, ignoring Tommy’s furious protests. She then made her way over to Cameron, who had just taken over programming at CBS, and sold him on That’s Our Time, the premise and cast of which she made up completely from scratch on the spot. Tommy and Sol followed her and watched her conversation with Cameron, flabbergasted. Susie then met up with the resort staff, who were on her payroll to help her locate and ambush the big showbiz people. In this case, a Caddy gave her the next tip, pointing her to a big record executive. She goes over and talks him into signing Tim Rice and Andrew Lloyd Webber, leading to the creation of Jesus Christ: Superstar.
When he finishes the story, Stewart hands the mic off to Aaron, who speaks about Susie’s relationship with Harry Drake, recounting a story from 1963, in which Susie met with Taylor, an actor represented by Harry who was unsatisfied with his current management and wanted Susie to poach him, leading Susie to tell him that he was a terrible actor, she would never betray Harry like that, and he would have to pay for his own drinks.
After Aaron comes Ray, who does a set about Susie’s mob connections, then Mike, who begins by eulogizing George Toledano. Mike finishes his set with a heartfelt callback to the rocky start of their relationship, repeating the double middle-finger gesture that he first showed to Susie at the Christmas tree lot in 1960.
Carmine does a set about Susie’s sexuality, then introduces the first surprise guest for the evening, Tessie Myerson. Tess thanks Susie for getting her a successful singing career in Indonesia, and attempts to sing her number one hit single “Never Ever Gonna Stop,” seductively leaning into each of the comedians on the dais as she does, but Susie soon gestures to Heather to stop the music, and the performance is unceremoniously cut short.
Towards the end of the event, Stewart prepares to throw the mic to Susie for her speech, only to find her missing. Susie, as it turns out, is smoking in the kitchen, watching the assistant cooks dance to a song by the B-52’s. Impressed, Susie mentions that she bowls with the B-52’s and vows to get them a gig dancing in their next video. Heather soon arrives, and pulls Susie away to do her speech. On her way out the door, Susie gives her joint to the head chef, who is bemused.
Susie arrives, and grumpily does her speech, roasting Aaron and Carmine, then wrapping up with an (almost) heartfelt moment. As Susie receives a pink box from Heather and prepares to leave, Stewart tells her to hold on just one second for a final surprise. Susie sits back down, and the projector screen lowers to play a special video message from Midge, recorded by Imogene, who can be heard fiddling with the camera equipment throughout. After some initial ice-breaking humor for the room, Midge reminisces with Susie about the good old days, thanks her for giving her her big break, and makes an offer to reconcile on neutral turf. In tears, Susie asks Heather for a number for Midge, only to learn that Midge’s girl just called in and gave it to them. As Susie leaves, Stewart tells the room that they’re all expected to donate to the Jacopo "Jackie" Dellapietra foundation, which Susie echoes. Outside the venue, Susie tells Dennis that she’ll be walking home tonight.
Stewart, Carmine, Ray, Aaron, the two doubtful guys, and Benny linger at The Friar’s Club after the event, sitting around a table and exchanging rumors and gossip about Susie. Carmine asks how Susie got all of Harry Drake’s big clients after he died. Aaron claims to know, describing how Susie forcibly kept Harry’s family out of his hotel room as she swindled him into signing the documents. Stewart disputes this, however, claiming that the daughter was in on it, helping Susie to swindle Harry and getting paid in cash right in front of him. Ray claims that both stories are incorrect, that he knows what really happened because his big sister, Linda, was the nurse on duty that night. He describes how Harry’s daughter never showed up, and Susie stayed at his bedside all throughout his final days, keeping his spirits up, watching old movies with him, and holding his hand as he died.
The table then turns to talking about Susie’s mob connections, leading Carmine to tell one story about how Susie got in deeper with them in late 1961 or early 1962. He describes how Susie came in to the office one day to find Dinah with a black eye from her boyfriend Ronald. Susie told her to take the day off, then she made her way over to Frank and Nicky’s and asked them for a favor. The two agreed, and soon went to beat Ronald up. Carmine mentions that as thoroughly as Susie was under the mob’s thumb, Midge managed to stay clear of it. The others inquire about how, and Carmine claims to know, but he declines to finish the story until after he’s gone to the bathroom, much to the others’ chagrin.
Recalling Mike’s speech from earlier in the evening, Aaron calls bullshit on his eulogy for George Toledano, explaining how much Mike hated George and recounting the story of how Susie got George fired with Mike’s help in April 1961. It began at Toots Shor’s, with Susie pressing Mike for information on the origins of the Gordon Ford Show’s rule against having anyone who works on the show appear on the show. As Mike explained that the rule was George’s, Midge was hanging out just down the bar, discussing semantic satiation with Alvin, Ralph, Cecil, Adam and Mel. Susie was given even more reason to take George down on another day, when George greeted Midge and Susie in the office and failed to remember Susie from the several times he had met her in the past. Susie got her opportunity for revenge one evening, when she was at an office party and overheard Mike arguing with George. With Mike’s help, Susie then broke into George’s office and found proof that he had been holding up Gordon’s contract with the network without his knowledge or permission. One morning, George came into work and cheerfully greeted Dorie, the writers, and Freddie, only to find Alan Young and two other employees packing up his stuff. Alan informed him that he was fired. Mike learned the story from a Variety article, and Susie celebrated with Dinah and her pigeons. Susie gleefully insisted that one of the pigeons had winked at her, but Dinah was skeptical.
As Aaron wraps up his story, Carmine returns from the bathroom and explains how Midge got out from under the mob. In December of 1961, Susie arrived at her office to find that Joel had broken in and was looking for her second set of financial records, eventually finding them hidden under the bed. Joel attempted to sharply question Susie about what kind of trouble she was in, but he was soon arrested by Dinah’s cousin Doug, a police officer who had come round to meet Dinah for lunch. Susie managed to talk Dougie into letting Joel go, however. Susie then attempted to minimize the trouble that she was in, but Joel could tell the depth of it. Determined to set his wife free, he went right into the lion’s mouth, walking into the mob’s bar right in the middle of their Christmas celebration and offering himself and his club business up to Frank and Nicky in exchange for his wife’s freedom. As Frank and Nicky brought the offer to their boss, Francesca ran over and offered Joel a Christmas cookie, which he accepted. Frank and Nicky then returned, and accepted the offer. Carmine explains that Joel got lucky for a long time, but eventually the FBI busted him and he went to jail. He was supposedly able to keep Archie in the clear, and allegedly he even hid some money for himself when he got out of jail.
After Carmine’s story, the table briefly reminisces about the strangeness of Tess’s performance earlier in the evening, then Aaron tells the Midge Maisel Hawaiian wedding story from 1973. Susie was in Hawaii for Midge’s wedding to Philip Roth, sharing her bliss with Dinah over the phone when Midge barged in and declared that she was calling the wedding off. Abe and Rose soon entered as well, and together with Susie they attempted to talk Midge out of blowing the wedding. Susie gave Midge an ultimatum, telling her that if she wanted to call off the wedding, she would have to tell Philip herself. However, Susie’s resolve crumbled just a moment later when Midge began to sob. Reluctantly, Susie dealt with all the logistics of the failed wedding herself, incurring a considerable cost in money and time. She called Philip and told him, and she called the special music guests and told them. She met with Abe and Rose, who had paid for the cake and were very concerned about eating the cost. She met with the Cake Baker and tried to find a way to refund or resell it.
As Aaron finishes the Hawaiian wedding story, the two doubtful guys get up and leave. The rest wonder aloud about how and why Midge and Susie eventually broke up, but none of them know. Overhearing the conversation, Mike wanders over and says that he knows what happened - that he heard it from Susie and Midge separately when each of them was drunk. He explains that in 1985, Joel was in temple with Midge, Chava, Ethan and the baby, and as the Cantor was wrapping up Aw Mein and the Rabbi was taking over, FBI Agent Scanlon barged in and arrested Joel for his involvement with the mob. As he was being hauled away, Joel gave Midge a letter explaining everything. Shocked, Midge remained in the temple after the end of the service and called Susie to her. Midge confronted Susie about her involvement with the mob, her culpability in getting Joel tied up in this, and how she has been lying to her and manipulating her to pay off her own gambling debts. Things got nasty, and the two parted with bitter words.
Cast
Starring
Guest Starring
- John Scurti as Nicky
- Bailey De Young as Imogene Cleary (voice)
Co-Starring
(in order of appearance)
- John Viener as Benny
- Adam Heller as Rabbi
Uncredited
- Unknown as Ronald (voice)
- Unknown as Freddie
- Unknown as "Little" Rose Maisel
- Unknown as Susie's Office Pigeons
- Unknown as Man on Dais
- Unknown as The Boss
Locations
(in order of appearance)
-
- Midge's Place in Kansas (on projector screen)
Soundtrack
Trivia
Quotes & Dialogue
STEWART: When we first approached Susie Myerson about a roast, she instructed us to position our heads in a place that seemed ill-advised, claustrophobic, and biologically impossible.
SUSIE: Try harder. I believe in you.
STEWART: Then we offered to make it a testimonial dinner, and she replied, “No, thanks, those are for old hags with shriveled pussies.” Enjoy the veal. So, we negotiated with her, and if you've never done that before, I highly don't recommend it. And she agreed to a “Testi-Roastial.” Trips off the tongue, huh?
– S5E6
MIDGE: This is how I'm gonna remember you, Susie. Small.
– S5E6